|Beginner's Guide To Being A Bitch Hermit|
|Producer(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Writer(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Animators(s)||Jonathan Ian Mathers|
|Previous Episode||Coffee - House Propoganda|
An easy guide to staying indoors.
A black background with the words 'A Beginner's Guide To being A Bitch Hermit. Nine Easy Ways to Avoid Society. Pops up as spoken.
- A Beginner's Guide to being A Bitch Hermit. Nine Easy Ways to Avoid Society.
- Work at home by selling junk on e-bay and mailing stuff from home.
- Where's the fucking packing tape?
- Make sure the 56 K internet modem on 24/7 so no one can get through on the phone.
- I never get the calls anymore from my doctors!
- Number Three: Go outside no earlier than 3 A.M. Normal people seem to sleep at this time.
- I'ts just you and I Mr. Moonlight.
- Number Four, keep up with the latest news and technology using the internet.
- Number Five: Sleep during the day. (Germaine hisses)
- Number Six: Live on sugary junk food.
- Mmmm, sugary goodness in my veins!
- Number Seven seven seven...(Fades out) Listen to Morriesy, and The Smiths, and realize that the world is a bleak place to live.
- Yeah, what difference does it make?
- Number Eight: Watch T.V. and complain about current Saturday Night Live shows.
- Number Nine: Survive on stuff that was sent to you from Mail-order.
- Oooh, comic books!
- Black background again.
- This messagehas been brought to you by: The Foamilian Cult Campaign to Keep Annoying Motherfuckers in the house.
Ending screen appears.
- Stay inside!