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Foamy's Rant III
Foamy The Squirrel - Foamy's Rant III
Cast
Cast Foamy
Production
Episode 2.10
Running time 2:37
Release date 2004
Producer(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Writer(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Animators(s) Jonathan Ian Mathers
Chronology
Previous Episode Card Cult Update
Next Episode Eye Stigmata
Video
Foamy The Squirrel - Foamy's Rant III

Foamy The Squirrel - Foamy's Rant III

WARNING

Publishers SummaryEdit

The third rant from Foamy!

TranscriptEdit

Foamy
How about this.... Stop with the fucking reality shows. I am so sick of this fuckin' bullshit with the fucking fake-ass marriages for money, the munchkin bachelor shit, and anything that has to do with greedy motherfuckers who will degrade themselves for cash.
And that simpleton life with french hilton and that other illigitimate whore. How come these dumb bitches didn't get trampled by fuckin' cattle on that farm. I'm so sick of some psuedo-attractive bimbo selling her soul because she's fuckin' stupid. You want reality? How about a reality show where you oil up that hilton bitch and throw her naked into an all male jail filled with serial killers and sadists. Give them a bunch of 12 inch sharp objects and let em loose on her ass.
Yeah, welcome to reality!
And don't give me that "you're so cruel" bullshit. Not only would you have a reality show that people would actually want to watch, but you also have a great start for a series on an all new network called the "snuff" channel. The whole channel would be dedicated to the elimination of a fuckin' moron, every half hour! I would be personally involved in every show and would work overtime to ensure that 48 idiots were removed from society every day.
See, i have ideas, and this fucking fearie factor shit. Oh, woopdee-doo...eat bunch of liquified rats and we'll give you 3,000 dollars. I'm so sick of these shows that try to induce fear. You want to see fear, how about i sit your fuckin' contestants down in a small room, chain em down naked into metal chairs that are wired to a heating system. What you do, is then you turn up the heat slowly over a 32 hour period, slowly increasing the ammount of heat conducted through the metal chairs until it's as hot as a branding iron. And once they've passed out due to the extreme pain brought about by a 32 hour burning flesh fest, hang em on a wall by their arms, in a room where the only visable thing is a sign that says "you have this much time left to live" with a countdown underneath, starting at 24 hours and counting down by the second.
So now they gotta hang their, just watching the clock...wondering what's going to happen... How are they gonna die....will it be worse than the heating chair....who knows.....
Once the clock gets down to the final second you turn on the lights and yell "surprise".... And if they don't die of a heart attack, you hit em in the face with a large pie. ....sit back, all laugh, pretend it's all a joke.....lull them into a false sence of security by saying, "you've won 10 million dollars", ...then take out the razors and salt. You put one cut on their body, 2 inches long, every 15 minutes, and then hire some toothless bum to slowly tear open the wounds with his filthy fingernails while pouring salt in the cuts at the same time!
I could go on, but i think that's a little too much reality for some of you. And i don't want to hear about "how sick and twisted" the ideas and concepts are in this cartoon...you don't like it, too bad....if television had some decent shows to occupy and entertain my mind, i wouldn't have such demented thoughts so it's your fault....welcome to reality tv assholes!